Theory: Wooly Shambler
Wooly Shamblers: mythical, peaceful, and misunderstood.
We know Wooly means it's covered with wool, but what is a shambler?
Wait, Shambler is underlined in red in Microsoft Word? That can't be true...*checks dictionary.com* nope, not in the dictionary...
Well, let's look at the base word: shamble... Dictionary.com says, "a slaughterhouse," or, "place of mass destruction"...
But, this is Nintendo, king of censorship. They would _NEVER_ put something like that in their games...
Putting these ideas together, I figured out e-x-a-c-t-l-y what a shambler is.
Since a shambler is not a word, it must be something that doesn't exist. But, in fact, it is MULTIPLE things that do not exist. The "Wool" is hair from the abominable snowman, the "arm things" are a kraken's tentacles, and, while it's a stretch, its feet ARE a little big, aren't they?
While this answers what a "Shambler" is, what is under all that snowman hair? This, my friends, is up to imagination. It could be whatever you want!
But, this is _MY_ article. SO, NO!! IT CAN'T BE, IT'S MINE AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT, SO BLEEEEAH.
Underneath Wooly Shambler's wool... is another Wooly Shambler. This makes complete sense. It is very cold in Winters, right? So Wooly Shamblers instinctively huddle together for warmth.
This answers two questions: "What is it?" and, "What's under the wool?"
This does leave one question unanswered, however: "Why can it shoot laserbeams?"
Have you seen its eyes? They are awfully discolored, aren't they?
The truth is, Wooly Shamblers have terrible eyesight. In an attempt to get it corrected, they resorted to laser eye surgery... But, the doctor misunderstood when they asked for it.
Rather than firing a beam into the Shambler's eye in order to correct their vision, they were given "Laser Eye Surgery..." this explains why their beams narrowly miss the target so often: their eyesight was never corrected! This is also why they attack humans. The normally peaceful creatures can't see what draws near to them. In panic, they fire off their laser eyes in an effort to protect the Shamblers under the wool.
Wooly Shamblers: mythical, peaceful, and misunderstood.
We know Wooly means it's covered with wool, but what is a shambler?
Wait, Shambler is underlined in red in Microsoft Word? That can't be true...*checks dictionary.com* nope, not in the dictionary...
Well, let's look at the base word: shamble... Dictionary.com says, "a slaughterhouse," or, "place of mass destruction"...
But, this is Nintendo, king of censorship. They would _NEVER_ put something like that in their games...
Putting these ideas together, I figured out e-x-a-c-t-l-y what a shambler is.
Since a shambler is not a word, it must be something that doesn't exist. But, in fact, it is MULTIPLE things that do not exist. The "Wool" is hair from the abominable snowman, the "arm things" are a kraken's tentacles, and, while it's a stretch, its feet ARE a little big, aren't they?
While this answers what a "Shambler" is, what is under all that snowman hair? This, my friends, is up to imagination. It could be whatever you want!
But, this is _MY_ article. SO, NO!! IT CAN'T BE, IT'S MINE AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT, SO BLEEEEAH.
Underneath Wooly Shambler's wool... is another Wooly Shambler. This makes complete sense. It is very cold in Winters, right? So Wooly Shamblers instinctively huddle together for warmth.
This answers two questions: "What is it?" and, "What's under the wool?"
This does leave one question unanswered, however: "Why can it shoot laserbeams?"
Have you seen its eyes? They are awfully discolored, aren't they?
The truth is, Wooly Shamblers have terrible eyesight. In an attempt to get it corrected, they resorted to laser eye surgery... But, the doctor misunderstood when they asked for it.
Rather than firing a beam into the Shambler's eye in order to correct their vision, they were given "Laser Eye Surgery..." this explains why their beams narrowly miss the target so often: their eyesight was never corrected! This is also why they attack humans. The normally peaceful creatures can't see what draws near to them. In panic, they fire off their laser eyes in an effort to protect the Shamblers under the wool.
