Theory 4/13
Giygas sighed. The blueprint was sitting in front of him; it was for his new fortress on Planet Earth. It was going to be smack-dab in the middle of Scaraba. It was going to be 7 stories tall, have an indoor pool, replicas of The Mona Lisa and The Last Supper, and a greenhouse to grow turnips in. Giygas ripped the blueprint in half. There was simply not enough money in their budget in their bank- there was no way they could afford it, especially in an area where a hamburger costed more than ten dollars.
Giygas and his Starmen contractors had made cuts to the project; they removed the indoor pool and the game room from the blueprint, and the project was still millions of dollars. Giygas was not happy.
Starman Junior walked into Giygas’s office. He had earphones in, and was listening to some trashy rap music. “Hello, great master,” Starman Junior said.
Giygas sighed again. “Starman Junior, I am not h….a….p….p…y,” Giygas responded sorrowfully. “We don’t have enough m…o…n…e…y!”
Starman Junior whirred and clicked. “We can sell all my rap CD’s, *click* and all my Call of Duty games.” Starman Junior looked pleased with himself. “And we can hit up Ness’s dad. He’s made of money.”
Giygas shook his vapory red head. “No… he is the enemy…! Besides… he refused the first time we asked.”
Starman Junior opened a new tab on his eternal Internet Explorer (yes, Starmen run on Windows) and did a quick Google search. “Look here, *whirr* master. Stonehenge. It’s been abandoned for years.”
After an hour’s long argument, the pair came to the conclusion that the blueprint was garbage and they would have to buy used property. Unfortunately, Giygas knew he would have to go to a real estate office and sign tons of paper. Perhaps the reason he was called the “embodiment of evil” was because the real estate guys rubbed some of their ultimate evil onto him. He began daydreaming about his Giegue days, where he had tons of cash to spare.
A week later, the Starmen were setting up their new base at Stonehenge. The first thing they had to do was tear down all the “National Site” plaques that surrounded the area. Then, their hired contractors came and dug into the ground, added pathways, and install an evil-looking washing machine in the back. It was going quite well until the Mooks came and griped to the Starmen about where their base would be, to which Starman Junior responded, “Go hijack a grocery store *click* or something!”
When completed, there was no money left for beds, so the Starmen had to sleep on the cold floor. Starman Junior woke up in the middle of the night to hear “SQUAK!”
Starman Junior screamed! Fobbies and Foppies everywhere! And no stools to stand on! They had to spend the rest of their petty cash on an exterminator.
The worst part of all was when they discovered they had a new boss. His name was Starman DX, and he had a stupid request.
“This here is the Sword of Kings,” Starman DX declared. “One of you Starman Supers are required to hold on to it.”
“Why don’t we just throw it away?” Starman Junior was perplexed.
“Because we just got some gripe from Master Giygas that we need a 1/128 item or something of the sort.”
Starman Junior sighed and wished he had never made that Google search.
Giygas sighed. The blueprint was sitting in front of him; it was for his new fortress on Planet Earth. It was going to be smack-dab in the middle of Scaraba. It was going to be 7 stories tall, have an indoor pool, replicas of The Mona Lisa and The Last Supper, and a greenhouse to grow turnips in. Giygas ripped the blueprint in half. There was simply not enough money in their budget in their bank- there was no way they could afford it, especially in an area where a hamburger costed more than ten dollars.
Giygas and his Starmen contractors had made cuts to the project; they removed the indoor pool and the game room from the blueprint, and the project was still millions of dollars. Giygas was not happy.
Starman Junior walked into Giygas’s office. He had earphones in, and was listening to some trashy rap music. “Hello, great master,” Starman Junior said.
Giygas sighed again. “Starman Junior, I am not h….a….p….p…y,” Giygas responded sorrowfully. “We don’t have enough m…o…n…e…y!”
Starman Junior whirred and clicked. “We can sell all my rap CD’s, *click* and all my Call of Duty games.” Starman Junior looked pleased with himself. “And we can hit up Ness’s dad. He’s made of money.”
Giygas shook his vapory red head. “No… he is the enemy…! Besides… he refused the first time we asked.”
Starman Junior opened a new tab on his eternal Internet Explorer (yes, Starmen run on Windows) and did a quick Google search. “Look here, *whirr* master. Stonehenge. It’s been abandoned for years.”
After an hour’s long argument, the pair came to the conclusion that the blueprint was garbage and they would have to buy used property. Unfortunately, Giygas knew he would have to go to a real estate office and sign tons of paper. Perhaps the reason he was called the “embodiment of evil” was because the real estate guys rubbed some of their ultimate evil onto him. He began daydreaming about his Giegue days, where he had tons of cash to spare.
A week later, the Starmen were setting up their new base at Stonehenge. The first thing they had to do was tear down all the “National Site” plaques that surrounded the area. Then, their hired contractors came and dug into the ground, added pathways, and install an evil-looking washing machine in the back. It was going quite well until the Mooks came and griped to the Starmen about where their base would be, to which Starman Junior responded, “Go hijack a grocery store *click* or something!”
When completed, there was no money left for beds, so the Starmen had to sleep on the cold floor. Starman Junior woke up in the middle of the night to hear “SQUAK!”
Starman Junior screamed! Fobbies and Foppies everywhere! And no stools to stand on! They had to spend the rest of their petty cash on an exterminator.
The worst part of all was when they discovered they had a new boss. His name was Starman DX, and he had a stupid request.
“This here is the Sword of Kings,” Starman DX declared. “One of you Starman Supers are required to hold on to it.”
“Why don’t we just throw it away?” Starman Junior was perplexed.
“Because we just got some gripe from Master Giygas that we need a 1/128 item or something of the sort.”
Starman Junior sighed and wished he had never made that Google search.
